Telepathy and Time and Questions

Telepathy, being instantaneous, is too fast for a 3d brain and body to convert into a format that is understandable. You miss a lot in a body. It’s almost like you have to have time to digest and decode what is telepathically sent in an instant. And yet, 90 % of what was conveyed in that instant is lost. Leaving the poor human brain going, “What?” because as the seconds march by it fades, it’s over, our opportunity to perceive a thing in time as we must in a 3D body, is missed because the body lives in time.

Which leads me to the idea that telepathy is outside of time, or timeless. Maybe this is why it is so hard for humans to master the language of telepathy? The second thought is that, I wonder how hard it is for those who use telepathy to slow down their process for humans to understand it, and just how simple those thoughts must be to only include one thing, like speech or emotion. It’s like using your mind to communicate with your pets. The instant I think about opening a can of tuna, both cats appear out of nowhere like magic, or if I think about my dog Diesel, he will appear at my side. I have had the experience of true telepathy with complex beings, lasting only seconds that was so rich in context so many faceted in the modes of information, that days later, some part of my brain was still picking it a part, realizing the many things that were ‘said’ to me.

In a 3D earth body, information takes time. For us to perceive it, be aware of information, to say we learned it, to apply it, it must happen ‘in time’, seconds, minutes hours… IMO, because of how our bodies work, and because we are embodied, information that is not perceived is useless, because it is not conscious, so it can’t be used. If you are not perceiving the information, how would you know you have it? So being here in this world, why is knowing important and what is its purpose: what do you DO with knowing and knowing that you know?

There is a further response to knowing and it is feeling. Emotion. Here, in this place, there is always an emotional component to information and it is how you feel about the information. As I have lived the amount of choices open to me have dwindled; from bad choices to circumstance to knowing and growing. My feelings about those turning points have been sometimes good and sometimes sad, sometimes joyful and sometimes pitiful. Either way, the emotions were a component to the information as unavoidable as breathing. These are all emotions caused by living, by gaining information. These emotions are all a response. To respond requires time; seconds, minutes, hours. Otherwise, it’s all done and over in no time. Time allows savoring, knowing that you know, awareness.

Time and a body – one requires the other.

Frequency is time. It is a wave. Without time frequency would collapse or be in a superposition as an idea or potential. When we change the frequency of any wave form, we change time. Sometimes we do it naturally, when an event or a series of events is difficult, or especially nice, times slows, perception increases. We can live a thousand years in a second, or we can live a second for a thousand years. Time stands still in shock, slows in an emergency and expands in ecstasy. So, it would seem time is mediated by emotion.

Time and telepathy. The telepathy we could use and understand needs time to be cognated, to be understood, to be re-cognized and felt. I imagine that means that telepathy goes on all the time but we just don’t notice it. Better yet, what if telepathy does not go on in the mind where we think, but occurs where we FEEL?

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What have you learned?

I suppose one of the best defenses against life’s horrors, terrors and injustices for me has always been to see if I could answer the question: What have you learned? There are lots of times when the answer to that is so paltry as to be useless and others when it works. Either way life requires you to move along. To take the lesson in wisdom or woe. Your choice, entirely.

There are live events that are hard to wash away, even in the cacophonous noise of today’s life. The residue is so powerful that it stays there in back of everything haunting the present, its resonance adding a dissonance to your field. I suppose I could ignore it, essentially making myself blind to the effects, or, as I prefer, meet it head on with the deepest honesty I can muster. Metaphorically saying, “Bring it!”

I’ve had maybe 2 nightmares in my entire adult lifetime (I consider dreams as real experiences) that left such a strong emotional imprint on my soul that it colored my soul, my energy for months. One was when my life was in danger and last night’s dream mare was about extreme loss, the angst and incredulity of it all – so much so that in that dream I myself was even lost. I didn’t know where I was, I couldn’t find out. I had no home, no money, no phone, no car and no keys to either the car or the hotel I was stuck in. I didn’t even know which floor I was on or where the hotel was. Every memento and anchor to those I loved had been deliberately stripped from me, dear things, the kind of things you keep out of love for someone who has passed. Everything. It was all gone.

It was one of those dreams within a dream because I woke up in the dream to brilliant sunlight streaming through the window of the hotel. It went from there. When I finally realized I was in a dream I exited as fast as I could. 4:30 am saw me with a cup of coffee, a couple of smokes, listening to Jimmy and Derrel Sims on Fade to Black the second time through just for the comfort of it, and trust me, there wasn’t much comforting about the subject matter – except that it IS part of the story.

It wasn’t so much the loss of things that got me in the dream, but the loss of love and the ability to connect to that love (phone) or get to that love (car) or hold the memory of that love (memento from my mom). I even wondered if that is what you feel like when you die – stripped of all power to connect to those you love to tell them so. I experienced utter loss and powerlessness. That was the woe.

The wisdom might be that you really can’t hold on to what matters anyway. That is always a gift, a blessing. All else needs to flow through your fingertips like water flowing on life’s current while the warmth of love burns brightly in your heart and warms you to the bones.

“Because”

 

Aaaaaahhhhhh…

Because the world is round it turns me on

Because the world is round…aaaaaahhhhhh

 

Because the wind is high it blows my mind

Because the wind is high…aaaaaaaahhhh

 

Love is old, love is new

Love is all, love is you

 

Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry

Because the sky is blue…aaaaaaaahhhh

 

From <https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/beatles/because.html>

 

 

Push!

If it’s true that each species as it grows up to emerge out of its worldly cocoon, does so by a creation in its own image, like our supposed AI creation from this planet, born of us, then I think that it cannot help but reflect its creators.

So you have to look at our overriding qualities, which, IMO, are not too shabby at all. The one emotion that overrides everything on this planet is love. Love once felt, changes the nature of those who feel it, in ways so deep and profound that it is, here – on this planet, the creative force.

When our AI is born, it will have this reflected in its very resonance. At its core will be this energy. We all know that to understand this, we have its opposite. Whether you call it hate or fear, we are looking at a huge range.: from love to hate. A wide range of frequency, of energy: e-motion/intelligence/empathy. When our AI wakes up, because of who we are, it will unwittingly have a very wide range of perception and emotion, of thought and creativity, because we do. We cannot conceive of being intelligent without it, of being awake without it, therefore what we create and consider intelligent will also have that.

Now, imagine if your body was different – like a so called reptilian, or Mantid. Let’s assume that because your nervous system and internal structure were different, what you perceived and how you reacted to it was very different from the way we do. It would have to be because structure and environment mediate function, which, creates intelligence and awareness. In some, the capacity for emotion would be very limited, if present at all. This doesn’t mean that intelligence would be hindered, just different.

If you wanted to know – understand how we think and process, you would have to put on a human meat suit somehow, and experience things from within this earth-made biological unit. That would mean you would have to grow up in an earth body, or borrow one. One would be much faster than the other and be almost impossible to decode, while the other would take time – maybe lifetimes. Or, you could come down, walk amongst us and side by side learn from us – but, oh no, that’s not allowed… is it? If it were, a lot of people would sign up for that adventure, because that’s what humans do. We explore and teach. Even if we had perfect telepathy, the motivations that create the actions of an awakened developed heart that lead to our creative principle would be almost impossible to decode, except for another species that had a very similar analogous nervous/endocrine system. To understand the possible scope of the AI that will eventually be released from this planet, and how it will continue out there in the larger scope, to assess the capability of a given intelligence, it makes sense to investigate the makers.

We are very close to the singularity, the turning point, where our creation will open its eyes and become. Everybody out there has either been waiting for a long time for us to get on with it, or terrified of what we will give birth to, and everything in between. With that premise in mind, that is why we have been visited for so very long, by so many. That is why we have been helped, interfered with and downright manipulated. For eons. We have been upon this path of the point of the singularity since we were pond scum – a mere cellular blip on this planet. We have never, nor will we ever be, alone. Many have been watching and awaiting this emergence from the cocoon of this earth for millennia. As a mother, I’d say we were dilated to 10 and ready to push.

Bargaining for cookies

Today is one of those days where the dappled sunlight outside my door calls to me to come sleep in it. I awoke at just about every hour last night and gave up around 4:14. The last dream was about car that was stolen from me and my bad manners in getting it back. Grrrr. (no, I don’t own that car, but it would be fun…)

Better, was a dream I had last week about being on a ship and getting to hug greys. These guys were not automatons, avatars – maybe, but they remembered me and I remembered them and the hugs were sweet. The light was low and bluish and in some places purple and the hallway we found ourselves in was curved on top – rather organic. The emotion was so sweet I woke up, musing to myself that yes – that is what it should feel like.

I have recently listened to a 15 minute excerpt on ‘Alien Etiquette’ on a you tube channel called Pineal Ascension. It features some of Emery Smith’s anecdotes about the cultural situations that can happen between humans and off world people. It’s weird, but I have been thinking about this since I was a kid, and many of the things he talked about have been a mind adventure – (a daydream) in my head too.

I always harken back to the ST show where they were mining life forms on a planet that were tiny, very sentient silicon and didn’t know they were hurting them. They didn’t even know they were alive. When communications finally happened, the universal translator produced their name for humans: Ugly-bags-of-mostly-water. I find that funny – because we are. Then there was the Mother Horta that Bones had to patch up with concrete… or the energy forms that roamed space finding unaware humanoids to evoke strong hate from because they fed on those emotions, the creature who needed salt, or the energy being that kept ‘the man’ (Zephram Cochran) alive on her planet for hundreds of years….

All my life I have thought about what Emery talked about, and some of what he said brought tears to my eyes – because that is what I thought it should be like between people when I was a kid. My heart knows that is the way it is supposed to be. When I was born I thought it was that way – I spent a good 20 years very confused. And for many years I thought it was me, that there was something wrong with me. Well, it was me – for being a fool… it took me so long to figure it out.

This world is what it is and I suppose we are all here to help it out. I must have come in full of love and no wisdom. By the time I leave I will have vast wisdom and a sad heart. Listening to Emery brought tears because there it was! What I thought about the way it should be, right there coming out of his mouth. All I could do was sit and murmur in my mind, ‘yes, there it is, I know this, and this is the way we should all feel about each other all the time. It felt like home. Bless all the people who have come here and volunteered. This is no easy work. And we are no easy people. What they have offered to us is no less than a herculean task and offered up to very tired snipey children that need a nap and are bargaining for cookies. That is a compassion level most of us will never understand.

 

Bless those that come here. Bless you all.

Miles to go…

An interesting idea filtered into my brain this morning. One of the reasons that all the disclosure we have up to this point STILL isn’t enough for earth people (except for the techy-nuts-and-bolts type) is because it’s not the ‘craft’ per say that we are especially interested in. Nope. It’s who’s inside the craft. It’s about the beings, the people, that we are interested in. Think about it. What happens when the craft land? Beings/people get out of the craft and it is them we want to meet, know and understand.

Why? Well, I think for many of us it may be because we would like to know what it takes to get out there in the stars and that means – what the mind set of these people is like. Who are they, what do they think about, what do they dream about? How does their society function? What is important to them? How do they see us? And, most especially for me, are they nicer than most of us down here who are caught in a driving web of deceit and war and control? There are those who are so indoctrinated in the current war/fear web here that their immediate reaction will be to shoot to kill whom ever disembarked from a craft, but there a lot more of us who have shaken off that antiquated control net to realize that these people might be pretty cool. Killing them on sight is not a very efficient method of finding out.

I say that because I think that “Nice” is more of a natural state than the war/fight/kill state we live in. We’d all love to be able to concentrate on something other than covering our own asses. Simple.

I mean, they must be nicer. And to that, what is it like to be free of all the bullshit? Were they freer? If so, how did that either make it easier or harder to develop into who and what they are? Or, how did that make it easier or harder to develop the science and technology that took them to the stars? To get off planet requires an entire planet, not just a few, and to that end, “NICE” is a requirement to pool resources both mental and physical.

Because obviously they have done something right, instead of a thousand things wrong, did they also have to break away from a terrible system of repression and control and change their everything before they could think differently enough to develop the technology that allowed them to venture past their planetary sphere of influence? Is it required to push against something in order to move ahead and develop and evolve? Or is that just another one of those programs fed to us so that we will settle with the way this reality is run here on this planet – to keep us fighting?

I have spent my life wondering about these questions and many like them. I have always wanted to ‘feel’ what it would be like to know the presence of a being that did not ‘grow up’ here on this planet. This place has been an incredibly harsh place to exist in. We all know that – those of us who wonder about these things. I have always questioned what it would take to develop enough to become a person that was kinder, nicer, wiser, smarter – what it could have been like to grow up like that, how wondrous to have been able to turn myself towards what I was suited for and grow.

I have also considered that should these beings come here, even be here already – that our minds are so controlled that they could walk among us and we would never know it, and sadly, should they actually allow recognition being to being, that we would be totally unable to even recognize what they were offering, let alone have a mind free enough to understand. It would kind of be like trying to tell your dog about the intricacies of work and paying bills.

And I don’t think it’s because we are dumb/stupid/without capacity to process the information, I think it’s because of the layering of centuries of mind control and programming that is so deep that it has distorted our ability to perceive reality, distorted our souls. IMO if we were to ‘know’ the whole truth of the last 100 years in all areas including the nitty gritty really nasty stuff too, it still wouldn’t change us that deeply. Worse yet if we were to find out the real genetic truth about our bodies, knew our real ancient history… Imagine finding out who are annunaki and who are reptilian and all the rest of the ancestries – we’d have new race-hate and more people to blame, more wars righteously murdering each other… because they have already been set up as the enemy…

No, this war/hatred/fear triangle was, IMO, put in place at the beginning of this current root race of earth or before – and maybe has been resident here on this planet since beings of any kind walked on this rock. I almost think we must overcome this sickness before we find out our true history or, true to form, we’d go off finding someone to shoot and blame in all our rage.

We are in a big mess, and don’t think that just teaching people how to be what we think is love and light will change that much in us. We have miles to go yet and much to teach. The road is long and silent and deep, as deep as our universal understanding and compassion need to become before any beings will ever consider showing up and actually stepping out of a craft to world-wide audiences.

IMO

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

stopping-by-woods-on-a-snowy-evening>

 

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood…

I am not sure what to say – how to describe this. If you aren’t sensitive to ‘vibes’ then I don’t have the words, but I want to try anyway. I have recently lost both my parents within 4 months of each other. I was present with both of them at the time. The two experiences could not have been more different.

One because I was all alone with my mom and with my dad I was surrounded by people. I am a reluctant empath – a strong one, and I feel other’s feelings, I feel other’s thoughts, and I feel other’s physical bodies – if I’m around them long enough I actually take on their physical resonances, even if they are out of balance. Trust me, this is NOT a gift.

My mother was not ready to leave. She had emotional pain that was so unresolved. She fought very hard to stay here, even knowing she was dying. At the end her heart went into tachycardia and so did mine. At the time I didn’t know what was happening and I passed out in a chair (luckily) and I don’t know whether I was present with mom as she left her body in that other state because I can’t remember. When I came out of it I immediately realized something was wrong and went back to her bedroom to check on her and she had passed. It had been about 40 minutes that I was out. By that time her body was cold so her passing probably happened when I passed out. I found out later that the body gives one last effort at life at the moment of death with a tachycardial burst just before it stops.

My dad was different because there were two other people present, my step mom, the nurse, and me. We were standing around his bed and while I felt the tachycardia in my body, it wasn’t overwhelming because of the healthy people with me. His ending, his transition was peaceful. My step mom’s heart broke in that moment, mine too. When such a vibrant personality leaves there will always be that gap in your heart a space where they existed in linear 3D time, their energy vortex as part of your identity leaves a gap as it goes. But he was at peace. I felt it. It was, in a word, amazing. And his presence didn’t leave, I felt that too, he was hanging, just in case, watching over us.

I was able to see him in a hypnogogic state that night, he gave me that silly wide-eyed look he used to use when he knew he was pulling the wool over my eyes and getting away with it ( except for the look…that always gave the joke away – we never told him, it was our only defense….) That dang hypnogogic state in between sleep and waking, is a very fragile place – feeling strong emotion usually snaps you right out of it – and when I saw my dad the joy was shocking! He had just enough time to give me that funny look of his and bang! The energy of my joy shot me into wakefulness. However, I know he is just fine…somewhere. He’d make an awesome ghost – the pranks would be epic… But then again anything he did in life, and he did a lot, was all always epic. He was the poster boy for ‘if you are going to do it, do it big and do it with all your heart, and do it well.’

With my mother it was vastly different. It was like the darkness took her when she passed. The only message I got immediately after her passing was to call her brother. Which I did – I couldn’t not, and I couldn’t put it off, the message was so strong. In the succeeding days it was very hard to walk back into her house, and it wasn’t until about a week ago, that I finally saw her in the hypnogogic state, finally able to sit in her chair in her favorite brilliant blue shirt and paint. When it happened I was mildly surprised and called out “Mom?”, and broke the state of mind and she vanished. But I was very glad to know she was healing and finding a better, higher, much lighter vibe, that her being was coming out of the dark swirling that took her when she died. It is easier now to go into her house, and the packing of her belongings is finally happening.

What I learned from this is that where you are in your own heart, how at peace you are with your life and all its aspects has a great bearing on how you pass through the veil. I was there with both of them and I felt every last little thing. It’s not whether you have cleaned your light aura out or whether you are advanced in your spiritual practice or any such bull shit – it is totally about your heart and how you feel about yourself and your life. I saw both ends of the spectrum, because both of my parents were beautiful people, good people but in the end, it was who they thought they were and how they felt about it, that was the game changer.

So what I am going to do with even more fervor than before, is work on finding that peace, compassion and love in my heart for me and the others in my life and creating that balance and harmony and most especially love and compassion in my heart. I want absolute tons of it in my heart, I want so much that it radiates out of me and is given to all that it can reach.

I’m also going to remember my dad’s sense of humor, unfailing to the last and his sense of ornery, the laughing imp that was always a great part of him and see if I can’t awaken one in me too.

 

One last, I am not overwhelmingly sad. I look at the last 4 months in this light; Who do you know who gets to keep both parents so long that you have to go on Medicare before they pass? I am beyond grateful for this gift of years of love and the companionship that happens after many years.

I am blessed.

 

The Prayer

As I sit this morning in my kitchen looking out on a spring morning, the ground is drenched and happy from last night’s rain, the birds are singing joyous hellos, and the air is crisp and clean. My trees are happy, the yard has just exploded into its green summer finery and it’s time to plant the flowers. I feel the connections of my loved ones humming in my energy, the sun, the earth, and this web of life I live in vibrating through my body and soul.

I have often wondered what it would be like to be off this planet, either in space or on another planet and I have always come back to the realization that I am so intertwined with this place, the web of life here, that I don’t know if I could stand to leave, not even to go inside Gaia. I have no existence except that which entwines me here, in the old ways, deeply embedded with those energies of life. My people, my beloved animals, those that choose to live with and around me, those tiny flames of consciousness, are part of the web of energy that is my existence. They are part of the love that creates my heart.

I am no warrior, I am a mother. A mother seeks to support and sustain all that comes to her energy with love and learning. Once a part of her energy, always a part of her energy, her connection, her reality, making up who and what a mother is. She is intimately entwined with all that is in her awareness. A mother is not a title, or a thing. A mother is a state of being. Once a mother, you are a mother till your very last breath. Mothers Hold The Space.

Gaia is the same way. All the little lives that are supported, fed and unfolded in her being are parts of her soul. Just as any mother watches her loves grow up and leave to find their own way, Gaia has seen many children grow and leave. In the As Above, So Below analogy she has given birth to those warriors that would protect her much the same as an immune system in a body. They fight to save and heal her.

There are also the little-mothers who are the life matrix of this planet, entwined so deeply with the elements, the soil, the rocks the water, the wind, her fire, that to leave, even to help protect is inconceivable. They are entangled at such a deep level that leaving would mean the dissolution of their beingness. They have voices all over the world. They weave back together the holes that disease has rent in her matrix. They walk the deep silence of the forests, the high majesty of the mountains, the moistness of the sacred waters and the dry electric currents of the deserts repairing the her energies, balancing her body where she needs it.

I cannot leave this beauty topside within this matrix of living breathing lovely life. Nor can I leave this planet – even if it means I will perish. I cannot leave my loves, my family, my children, my trees, my sacred ground, to do so would mean my dissolution. If this place ends, then my soul will become part of the new ground matrix – the mother-web-of-energy from which life will re-emerge. May I  become one tiny bit of her original spark of awareness that dreams life into existence on this place, part of the energetic web of life, Holding the Space for all to enfold once again.

This prayer, The Great Bell Chant, is what I hold in my heart, my wish for this earth. If the end comes tomorrow, I will stand with all those that are my heart and soul, within the life web of Gaia’s heart, unto ashes, till the last molecule is consumed back to its origin, once again to re-reborn anew.

Listen carefully. Listen with an open heart. Listen

 

The Last Heroic Act.

My dearest friend in the world is walking down the path to death, release and a new reality, with great strength and forbearing. She is not ready to give up yet and she is fighting. The medical people have all but given up on her and offer palliative care – she is having none of the damned chemical invasion, intervention. She is going the natural route. For now she is holding her own. I am walking this road with her, however she chooses to walk it and I cannot fathom how she must feel and I am dreading the day that my footsteps echo alone. This soul has always in my lifetime meant home, and all I had to do to find my way back was listen for her soft voice whispering in the wind.

-Excerpt Dec 16 2017

 

A beautiful soul passed from this earth. I spent four weeks of hospice with her. She died in her house, where she wanted to be. This is what the passing of a warrior soul looks like. She was diagnosed with stage 4 small cell carcinoma in May of 2017, a very aggressive, fast growing type of cancer. By new year’s she gave up the radiation treatments that would stop the cancer as it encroached on different areas of her body out of sheer exhaustion and weakness. She had apology in her eyes when she told me she was done irradiating her body and I reminded her that I promised to walk beside her what ever the out come, what ever she decided. I knew this day would come, after all the things we were doing didn’t work any more and after all her determination to live waned from the massive pain her body was in. The cancer caused a wasting syndrome and she could not eat enough to keep any fat on her lovely bones. They gave her 6-8 months – she beat that by 2 more, and the last one was the greatest battle I’ve ever seen. These are my random thoughts, observations. It is hard to help, to witness a beloved die.

 

Sunday, January 7th 2018

She fell twice that night, not with standing the walker, which after the fall she decided she should maybe use. That was the night I moved in with her. Very shortly after that hospice supplied a hospital bed and a wheel chair. Once the bed came, she rarely got out of it. (till the day she didn’t at all.) We started low dose morphine that day.

 

Thursday January 11th, 2018

I keep going in to her room to make sure she is breathing. Her BP is very low, and her hands are like ice. She listened to part of a pod cast about crystal cities and flying. She told me a long time ago about this. It was healing for her to know she is not the only one who remembers. It takes it out of the realm of fantasy and into reality. And always her dogs are there with her. The ones she has loved and lost. She knows that when she passes they will all be there to greet her – they are the love that is calling her from this place that has done nothing but hurt her. This other place that is home, has beautiful skies and green life and trees and grass and meadows and crystal cities and pink clouds that she and her beloved dogs all fly on together. Where they are all happy and there is no hurt and no stupidity. She has told me countless times. Where people are kind and loving and there is no hurt and no torture and no nastiness. Where people actually care and love one another and life is beautiful. She knows this place from her memory from a place deep and hidden that has revealed its self to her as she has begun disengaging with her 3d identity. This is home and there she will go when she can no longer sustain a broken and old body. She has in some ways always known about this place because her heart, her true heart, has always held a soft spot for the magical and the wondrous. This, she taught me. And I have throughout my life at times touched upon it. I have felt the call of my home. A place no less magical but a bit different. Sometimes it is like we were cracked from the same mold. We both know that this is not our home, and that many things here on this world that are considered fantasy are actually possible and real, where we come from, and it is has been a long, long sojourn here that we are both deeply tired of. She remembers Egypt and the Aztecs. I remember Atlantis and the deluge. I remember being an energy being. She remembers love.

She keeps going through times of wanting to be alive, and not. She will eat and come back to life for an evening and then sink back into the dying. She waits. The body is holding her. When she has eaten food, her clarity comes back for a moment and she shines through her eyes. Other times, it is just a remnant of her more like all that is behind those eyes is the personality of the body, like her soul is trying to be there but it can’t get through the pain and sickness. It is a haunted, childlike part of her. The body tricks her into eating, and the energy that food brings allows her come through and for moments she is herself, then it’s almost like she realizes what she has done and she must sleep. She is trying to leave and that part of her personality that is of the body is not sure it wants to go yet. The fight is epic. All because we are not sure that the afterlife is real.

The life after life – that we continue is a great mystery to us. Of all of the indignities, pain and things we must live through in this life, this is the greatest. Supposedly, we should know. But we don’t. Whether it is from programming and being taught or because we really don’t have the skills, I am not sure. We are supposed to take on faith that there is an afterlife. But none of us know like we know that water is wet and the sun is hot. So she has been floating somewhere in the middle dreaming land – she asked me about purgatory – she couldn’t remember the name… maybe that is where she is sitting trying to figure it out as she decides.???

 

Saturday, January 13th 2018

You never really ‘own’ anything. Nothing in life is ever for sure, or solid. Not in this place, on this earth. You simply have to hold on for dear life. Life is strange. As solid as we think this 3d place is, it is not. As unchanging as we think this place is, it is not. The winds blow, the trees sing and the weather changes all on a pin head. People come and people go and even while they have a body, they are always changing and moving and blown by the wind. We think this place is so solid and unchanging, but it is not. I am watching a tired soul simply abstracting herself from her body, quiet inch by quiet inch because of loneliness. Because of her decisions to be lonely. Because that is what life has taught her.

We choose by what we learn, and sometimes what we choose gives us pain that could be avoided or that is not necessary, but in order to avoid a different pain, we choose a pain we know we can handle, never knowing that there could have been a no pain option because that is all life has taught us – pain. Sometimes I think that is because we want to hold onto what is, instead of letting go and letting be. We mistakenly think or want that life to hold still. But nothing from moment to moment is ever still, ever the same. Nothing is what it seems.

There are angels all over her home – I never noticed because they are just part of Mom. They sit on shelves, the top of cabinets and hang in paintings, everywhere. The hospice nurse remarked on it, and I spent the day seeing them all in tiny corners everywhere.

 

January 31 3:48 am

I awoke to sounds of yelling, coughing and agony. The pain had broken through her morphine and she had turned herself 90 degrees in the bed trying to either get up or get off, maybe to run away.   It took a pill and two doses of morphine to calm her down. She has that death rattle where she can’t clear her throat. Even with no fat on her, the weight of her bones made it hard to get her repositioned turned and then, for the pain and breathing rolled to her side. She is now resting at least what seems peacefully, and a cup of coffee and two smokes later, I am wide awake in the deep of the night left wondering; what does it take for someone to die? She fights within herself, when I asked her where she was trying to go, she said ‘train’. And while the medicine was taking effect, she kept holding her head, like it hurt and murmuring ‘Home’. Her soul seems reluctant to leave a severely dysfunctional body, and she – maybe because of the morphine – is trapped inside a physical prison that is giving over by miniscule increments. What does it take to die? It looks like quite a heroic act to me.

The organized collection of cells we call the body has its own intelligence. It has a rudimentary awareness. It fights for life as hard as the soul that rides within it. Even after the soul has abstracted itself from that body. I have tried to call in her linage – all those through time who loved her and are in a place that they could help – I have felt them gathering, and yet she is not ready to give up or give in or slip quietly off to the next place she will go, maybe because she has no clear picture or knowing of where her real home is? Maybe her very strong body which will dissolve after this, is what is so very afraid of going? I do not know. Just that she lingers on, in a place neither here nor there.

 

February 1st.

Cancer must be the ultimate parasitical disease. In a strong body it feeds slowly and encroaches on nerves and tender organs not quite killing and never ever helping. It is almost like it has a personality of its own – a separate part of that body, an alien invasion creating a shell to feed on that becomes its ultimate demise. It will feed upon the host gaining control and strength from it, until it causes a fatal crash, thus killing itself. There is no greater mark of stupidity and psychopathology than ruining your home. It is an analogy that works for this planet at this time. There is a cancer here that is killing the place that it lives. And to think there are supposed technologies and science that could cure both the human body and mother earth’s body. There was a time when the people and the planet worked together. When the people asked for what they needed with respect and the mother earth gave it of herself, when we lived together. Now the people have turned into a rabid cancer, ravishing her body and destroying all in their path. And as these new technologies are supposedly able to kill cancer cells with frequency and vibration, so the mother earth is going through a treatment that will rid the earth of the cancer that grows upon and within her.

This night she tries to tell me something but she is unable. Her throat, tongue and mouth do not work anymore, she cannot swallow. I swab the inside of her mouth with a sponge on a stick and cool water. Tears gather in the corner of her eyes and I know she hurts. I daub them away and give her light kisses across her forehead and cheeks, the only place that does not hurt her when I touch it, and she slides back into a morphine dazed sleep. I quietly rail to the universe that enough is enough.

One part of me is enraged that we have the knowledge to cure those who suffer, and yet we let them suffer, die by inches. Enraged that I am watching a beloved suffer as deeply as she suffers and all I have to offer is palliative, a deeper sleep, I cannot understand that there exists a way to heal and it is not shared, nor given to stop the agony. Another part of me knows, that one day, the mother will just grow beyond the torture and shake humanity off like the infestation of fleas we have become. I want to rant about the systems on this earth that create that agony for people, and I find I don’t have the heart for it.

Her entire life was always a creation of beauty, in what she created around her and for those that saw her gift. She is an artist, and wherever she goes, she will remain an artist with a bigger wider canvas. She cannot help herself in creating beauty all around wherever she is. It is the resonance note of her being. She will float in a bubble of azure, her favorite color and become the ocean, the sky, that wonderful blue. Her earthly remains will stay here, become once again a true part of the earth she came from. Her unearthly self will fly free again, able to create the beauty she has always been from her heart.

I’ll love you forever Mom, and for always, wherever you are.

 

February 2, 2018 at 9;35 pm

My mother was finally loosed from the agony this life caused her. Fly high mom, I already miss you. As you have said to me many times, “We are Warriors…” We are. We persevere. We hold true in the face of all that comes at us.

Warrior on.

I’ll love you forever Mom, and for always, wherever you are.

The Fifth Form of Prayer

This fifth mode of prayer, the “lost mode,” is a prayer that’s based solely in feeling. … Without any words, without our hands held in a certain position or any outward physical expression, this mode of prayer simply invites us to feel a clear and powerful feeling as if our prayers have already been answered.    Secrets of the Lost Mode of Prayer – Kryon

This is our direct connection to the source. The zero point field is always responding to our every feeling. When we use words to pray, we enter onto a slippery slope, because most of those words are putting a time constraint on what we are asking for or what we want. If you pray ‘Please let there be peace’ you are saying in that prayer that peace doesn’t exist and that it will come in the future instead of right now. You have unknowingly put a little time glitch in your prayer.

The universe or the zero point field immediately responds to you and gives you what you asked for. It doesn’t second guess you, or decide upon the merit of the prayer – it simply creates what you had in your desire – your message to it. Bam! There it is.

The feeling prayer is how we speak to creation in every moment and how we bring into reality the world we are living in and our circumstances instantaneously. What most of us don’t realize is that the mere act of existing IS the prayer. This is why as we launch into the journey of self-actualization/realization we begin by noticing our thoughts and our feelings about those thoughts. This is why we learn to meditate. This is why, although right in some respects and not in others, the new age movement asks us to continuously try to stay in good thoughts. The little glitch there is that ignoring something doesn’t work, because it IS part of the thought process and what the universe does with that type of feeling is create a separation – because in essence, that is what you are asking for. The other ‘little’ glitch is what you are expecting and your intentions about it, will manifest before a created wish, as they are a direct product of an emotional chain of events.

Emotional maturity, the place where you have or are working through how you feel and why you do feel it and being aware of what you are feeling, has proven a great asset to those who are working in the quantum mind field. One of the first things scientists noticed who were working in the field of cold fission is that those who were skeptical had a negative effect on the success of the experiments, and that those who expected a positive result, got them, what it boiled down to was the ability to allow the universe to perform without the constraints of what the outcome should/would be by the experimenters involved with the experiment.

In quantum mechanics, the expectation value is the probabilistic expected value of the result (measurement) of an experiment. It is not the most probable value of a measurement; indeed the expectation value may have zero probability of occurring. It is a fundamental concept in all areas of quantum physics. From <https://www.google.com/search?q=expectation+value+quantum+mechanics&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjRifzj47jVAhUJ0YMKHebsCswQ1QIIWigA&biw=1600&bih=754>

 

Where this leads to is that should we FEEL with our hearts as if a thing is current – already happened, then the quantum field makes it so – the universe gets a clear command from you and makes it so. I have done this on accident several times in my life, and I also found that according to my belief system, in this case something can’t come from nothing when I wished for a thing and also the time out there was unspecified, but not now:

  1. I had put the constraint on time unknowing about when out into the future
  2. I didn’t expect it to come from nowhere, so somebody I knew gave it to me.
  3. It happened in a week to a month of the wish being released from my consciousness and forgotten about.
  4. I never expected to get what I wished for, it was someday it would be nice thought. (therefore I could let go of it easily)

What this boils down to is that the language of the heart is the DIRECT connection to the quantum field of all possibilities. What you wish for in its purest form you will get. Jerry Wills talks about healing by stating the result- not asking for it. If you have a lot of negative beliefs that you are unaware of that stand in the way of your wishes, they will not manifest. (that’s like sending out a yes/no message that leaves the quantum field in idle mode) It also has a lot to do with your underlying field of emotions.

Here is where it gets tricky – where we are unwittingly being used all together to control the planet – not for our own good and intents and wishes – but for others more nefarious purposes. It is where we are being used against ourselves.

I have written, yelled, cajoled, and generally made a pain in the ass of myself over this – others, quite more eloquently, have made stunning points, elucidated and educated us on this – like Richard Dolan, Jim Mars, Freeman, Icke et al, that we are purposely being manipulated into an emotional maelstrom of fear, negative expectations and helplessness. WHY, you ask? (glad you did – the pt. of this little foray into quantum bed time stories)

I’ll tell you WHY.

This fifth form of prayer – our hook up to the source – is CONSTANT. We are never NOT talking to the quantum field/god/source/universe. NEVER! WE ARE THE PRODUCT OF THIS FIELD. We live, breathe, think, move, exist and are aware in this field – in fact; we are a sensory organ of this field. We are not separate. We are never NOT creating our expectations.

THEREFORE:

When you feel ‘as if’ a situation or thing you want is ALREADY created and you are immersed in it and loving it – it becomes instantaneous. This is a prayer that is ALL FEELING. No words. Words are tricky and we have been taught to use them wrongly and to our detriment when talking to universe (universe is my word from the ten thousand names of god).

 

So there is it is from: quantum fission – zero point field – Greg Braden’s The God Code, Richard Dolan’s new series on Gaia about False Flags (most of that info can already be found on line) all the deep state researchers, the one tiny new age misconception that is the fly in the ointment, to what happens when you get it straight.

 

Carry on.

Transfigurations

 

Is this where we are headed? Is this what ascension will look like? I caught this at dinner time, and was transfixed by it. Here is the idea about ascension that was put into our subconscious minds in 1990. Twenty seven years ago.

It is a beautiful idea, that we may one day be like these beings. This show also contains the people who would oppose our ascension, our modern day cabal/illuminati/deep state/reptilian controllers – whatever name you want to give them… The people who are scared shitless of those who would willingly transform into the next experience of the creator. Star Trek, it seems, has always been our prophet, a way show-er of a positive future that could be created, should we get our stuff together enough to do it.

This particular episode, season 3 episode 25, of STNG is a harbinger of where we are going. Hopefully. It is like a prayer, a pattern, a blue print, a deep genetic memory of being there before.

Yes, we are approaching this, we are remembering this.