Awakening from a dream I realize I was observing myself, my energy and learning.
This graphic was present as a symbol of where I was – always in a dusky but not black environment – meaning it was subconscious. I kept trying to dream it different, but I couldn’t change it in the dream. Each dream had this mark – no, I don’t remember the dreams themselves just the energy rating of them. The mark looked like a graphic used the scan groceries – sort of. I kept going back into the dream to try again. I have not been lucid in a dream all week, stuck.
So by 5am I decided to get up and write the dawn into morning. Lately I have been half opinionist and half shaman. An inner and out observer. Thinking about it, though, it’s all I have ever been. There is this ‘inside-me’ that was born knowing, with the outside me struggling to live it.
The inside me knows about energy and the esoteric (inside) and all that entails; other worlds and peoples and conditions and realms, it is not foreign, if I pause to ask myself, the answer is always brilliantly there. When I read, or saw or heard something that matched this knowing I used to get a wave of recognition across the skin like an electrical current that would make all the hairs on my person stand up in goose flesh… How does a small child know these things? I have no idea, except that it did and does happen frequently for me.
On the other hand, I have spent countless times when I have tried so hard to be a good little earthling. Each time I have done that, gone under in an attempt to be real in this place, I have lost a bit of the real ‘real’. (which by the way I have been told all my life isn’t real – but I know better now) it’s taken me a literal life time to see it as a continuum.
In Jeffery Mishlove’s second commentary he talks about the awakening to the larger understanding of life – the larger understanding that it is corporeal and noncorporeal, and that to many this knowing can be not only mind expanding, but dangerous. This is all in response to Peter Kingsley’s book written in response to Jung’s ‘Red’ book – a book written about Jung’s journey into the realm of the unseen, a brave journey at the time it was taken. We call them Angels, Divas, Elementals, Demons Daemons, Et’s, Extradimensionals – we want them to all behave either all good, or all bad. We want to lump them into something we can contain and control, we certainly don’t want to recognize they are real, or could possibly have the same relevance that we do! We definitely do NOT want to consider some them part of the indigenous life on this planet – being outside our extremely self-centered purview. And, could you blame those who we cannot see for being wary of us idiots – not wanting to be known or seen, because we can’t live in peace and equanimity with anything!! We have enough trouble with what we can see, let alone what we can’t! AND! We choose to treat what we can see as things, instead of intelligently aware entities, so that what we do see can be managed and used – God forbid there is an entire existence wrapped around us that is intelligently aware and… must – should be treated as such! Most of us don’t even treat ourselves as intelligent much less anything or anybody around us!
Right now, most of us only have contact with that realm in dreams. We are never fully awake in either state, waking or sleep. We consider anything not in a body or our limited physical realm as not real, and all that is in physical frequency for us are merely things to be used. Including people. We walk blind in a universe full of life – jam-packed with life and never notice. (religion is responsible for this, IMO) It has taken me a life time to get over what religion says about other life – the fear of it. I had a few very bad experiences very young that frightened me to my core and spent a good many years trying to convince my parents that there was ‘something there’ ( that scared me) and being told what an imagination I had, which in their opinion just showed disobedience and getting punished for it. It took me a very long time to work through it and I’m still working on it. However, I must admit, some of my best friends are noncorporeal. Really. I no longer feel that horrible chill in my spine and want to run. The presence has softened into a mental-emotional gentle communication of sorts. Now when I meet these personages in the dreamtime I am joyful and happy to say hi.
Call me demented, skitzo – I don’t give a flying you know what anymore what anybody thinks of me. But this needs to be said, and it needs to be looked at. The world as a whole can’t have its entire proverbial head up its ass anymore. Before we get out into space, we have an entire interpenetrating, entangled other world right here to become aware of and make peace with. But that would mean we would have to learn to be kind; above all – give up war, give up killing, give up using everything. It would mean becoming really whole.
But just like the rest of creation, we have a continuum here, it’s just that most of it is still very asleep and into themselves and enjoying that. And it may be a while before being human means more than being mean, surly and hungry.